【高分悬赏】【4.14是什么情人节 考试。。。的说】:帮忙改下托福作文,能帮忙估下分就跟好了。 会追加的。【谢谢了】

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& & Some people may hold the view that sportsand activities are not so important as classes and libraries so that theyshouldn’t receive much financial support. I, however, still believe that sportsand social activities are indispensable for college students and thatuniversities should spend money equals to which is spent on academic courses.& &&&First of all, doing sports is reallyessential to students, for it can help reduce the pressure from the everydaystudy and have a positive influence to our health. When we are in college, weare under constant stress because we not only have to finish the homeworkassigned by professors but also in great worry about our papers. In thissituation, doing sports regularly becomes even more important than when you arein other circumstances. Moreover, the more work you do in or out of the class,the more stressed out you are. So when college students are dealing with theirschoolwork and spend lots of time in the library searching for information,they need to do more exercise in order to stay healthy. Thus, universitiesshould spend money on sports equals to the money spent on libraries to ensurethe students mental and physical health.& &&&Second, students’ social activities needenough financial support as well. Today, more and more companies start to lookfor graduated students who have work experiences and choose them rather thanthose who don’t have that kind of experiences to be their employee. So havingthe responsibility to ensure that a student can find a isfying job aftergraduating, universities should provide financial support to let the studentsattend some social activities. In addition, aside from the knowledge learnedfrom class, enough social activities are needed to help the students understandwhat they have learned and how to use that. Therefore, colleges should alsospend enough on the students’ social activities.& &&&On the other hand, I have to admit thatclasses and libraries are very important and need enough financial support. Butin my opinion, if students only complete their schoolwork without taking partin social activities or sport playing, they’ll not have a good health andenough amount of job opportunities. So sports and social activities shouldreceive an equal amount of financial support as classes and libraries does.
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楼主辛苦了,顶一下
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追加悬赏一次。请老师批改。
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[被无视了。。。这不好吧。。。]
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Some people may hold the view that sportsand activities are not so important as classes and libraries so that they(they 的指代不明确) shouldn’t receive much financial support. I, however, still believe that sportsand social activities are indispensable for college students and that universities should spend money equals to which (equally to that)is spent on academic courses.
& &&&First of all, doing sports is really essential to students, for it can help reduce the pressure from the everyday study and have a positive influence to(on) our health. When we are in college, weare under constant stress because we not only have to finish the homework assigned by professors but also in great worry about our papers. In this situation, doing sports regularly becomes even more important than when you arein other circumstances(前后不一致doing sports regularly becomes even more important than attending in other academic circumstances). Moreover, the more work you do in or out of the class,the more stressed out you are. So when college students are dealing with theirs choolwork and spend lots of time in the library searching for information,they need to do more exercise in order to stay healthy. Thus, universities should spend money on sports equals to the money spent on libraries to ensurethe students mental and physical health(改法同第一段).(论述略显累赘,强调了stress太多次,最好举一个具体的例子来丰富论述)
& &&&Second, students’ social activities need enough financial support as well. Today, more and more companies start to look (start looking)for graduated students who have work experiences and choose them rather than those who don’t have that kind of experiences to be their employee. So having the responsibility to ensure that a student can find a satisfying job after graduating, universities should provide financial support to let the students attend some social activities. In addition, aside from the knowledge learned from class, enough social activities are needed to help the students understand what they have learned and how to use that(that 指的什么最好直接说明). Therefore, colleges should also spend enough on the students’ social activities.(同样,缺乏例证)
& &&&On the other hand, I have to admit that classes and libraries are very important and need enough financial support. But in my opinion, if students only complete their schoolwork without taking part in social activities or sport playing, they’ll not have a good health and enough amount of job opportunities. So sports and social activities should receive an equal amount of financial support as classes and libraries does(do).
Tips:1,道理讲得很多,但是以重复得多,并且例证匮乏,行文略显干瘪。
& && &2,前后一致的语法建议注意一下。
& && &3,总体感觉一般,论点比较清晰,用词还可以提高
& && && && && && && &&&给分:3
感谢参与网友互改
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= =于是自己的作文又不行了
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finally established his own company. She does well in almost all classes and is admired by all of us. Almost all of us, luck does work in an individual&#39.And what is more. Mostly, and finally. Only after her entering our university, she will repeat that constant life as her parents do, is success, his company is very successful now. Ts accomplishment. There are so many people in this world live in poor conditions and cannot get primary education, cannot build any business without working hard and keeping learning, for instance. If she did not get the endowment from a philanthropist. That&#39. She was brought up in a poor western area of China, &quot, he is keen on building his own enterprise, we just need a chance. However. However, most of us did not believe his achievement in the future described by himself. They just need a chance. And, and then we will fail in exams. Take my classmate Cathy for example, not armed with enough knowledge, one of my neighbors, to save them from the environment that not fits them well, there are some individuals with rare genius among them, Luck sometimes can save a person, coming into a big fortune at his aunt&#39. After graduated from university. Agas achievement.All in all, luck does play an important role in a person&#39. My neighbor,砸得越狠越好We used to believe that success is always come from hard working, Nicholass how luck change a person entirely,关于运气与成功有没有关系的文章请大家拼命砸我, as we all agreed that he is lack of
It study hard, must study to have advantages to compete ags accomplishment. However, Nicholas, based on hard-work. Sometimes we have done good enough, except those who are bring up in an noble family or whose parents are millionaires. Entrepreneurs. For instance, of course, luck acts as something like catalyst in one&#39, we may also fail in this society, knowing enough about the world and our society to help us to survive and launch a business, we eventually realized that she is a promising person with great potential, we are not able to learn about the world, if we don&#39. However.In many cases. It is very superficial to say that luck has nothing to do with success, as well. Politicians, no one was willing to lend money to him, working hard is essential for a person&#39, luck also plays an important role in an individual&#39.&s success,s achievement, some people have pointed out another opinion about success作文如下;Luck is an indispensable factor in one&#39, need to pay great attention in studying, with knowledge of almost all sorts in this world in our mind. Take we s death, which is so backward that each of her family members can have a shower once a month
提问者采纳
否则“靠努力工作”谁的不明确第二段,尤其在后面跟动词不定式时,所以用their、政客)是复数. We used to believe that success (is always come) from hard working:us, not armed with enough knowledge,如果前面说luck起了某个作用. )
改成. (build) any business)
改成,除非是现在时否则前面不可用be动词2,表示“被抚养”2:their rivals,前面已经用了compete,come是实义动词:point out a different view.是宾语, we may also fail in this society,这里作者是有些同意“确实”更恰当4, must (study) to
改成:没有这样表示, (and finally,应该用宾格.,另外contender一般指(运动比赛中)对手,学习知识用learn较多,只是建议3, we will not armed with enough knowledges nor make achievement in this society. compete against (his) (contenders)
改成,这里用现在分词形式7,因为指代的是politicians(政治家,发展生意-develop4,所以用动词不定式或分词短语,是作后面句子的某个成分. luck (also) plays an important role in an individual&#39,后面有in my opinion.后待续,pay attention to sth,his指代前面主句中的“an individual”:learn. pay great attention (in studying)
改成;另外take应改成taking:comes,语法上无错,但前面说有一种观点说luck很重要,第一用被动语态, 介词是to不是in。后面重起一个句子更清晰. for example的结构中:s achievement
改成,take sb,否则本句过长,also“也”,主谓不明,非比赛的对手一般用competitor或rival. some people have (pointed out another opinion) about success
改成,learn to do 的表示方式较好5,这句用also是对的,初步认为有一定水平,indeed是“确实”的意思, as well:1,“我们”的宾格是us. . Politicians:to study,第二用过去时. who (are bring) up in an noble family
改成:were brought. based on (hard-work)
改成,Finally,这里最好不要再用another opinion,study表示学习具体一门学科:also改成indeed:前面的逗号改成句号. (Take) (we) students for example
改成,因为这不是一个独立句子第一段:1,另外study本身可作名词表示“学校”3,建立生意-build up,所以这里用rival较好6
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We always believe that success isthe result of hard working. However, nowadays, some people have pointed out another opinion about success, &Luck is an indispensable factor of success.& In my opinion, luck also plays an important role in an individual's achievement, of course, based on hard-work.
In many cases, working hard is essential to a person's accomplishment. Almost all of us, except those who are bring up in an noble family or whose parents are millionaires, need to pay great attention in studying. Entrepreneurs, for instance, cannot run any business without working hard or keeping learning. Politicians, as well, must study to have a...
我们曾经相信成功总是来自勤奋。然而,如今,一些人指出另一个看法,“运气是成功不可或缺的因素之一就是成功。”在我看来,运气也起着非常重要的作用,在个人的成就,当然,根据所付出的一切。
在许多情况下,努力工作是必不可少的一个人的成就。几乎所有的人,除了那些抚养的贵族家庭或其父母是百万富翁,需要注重学习。企业家,例如,不能建立任何生意不努力工作,保持学习。政客们,也有优势,必须研究竞争反对他的竞争者。拿我们的学生为例,如果我们不努力学习,我们无法了解世界,然后我们会在考试中失败,最后,不带着足够的知识,我们也可以在这里的社会。
然而,运气的确扮演一个重要的角色在一个人的成就。有时我们所做的不够好,几乎各种知识,在这个世界上我们的想法,了解足够的关于世界和我国社会帮助我们如...
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We always believe that success isthe result of hard working. However, nowadays, some people have pointed out another opinion about success, &Luck is an indispensable factor of success.& In my opinion, luck also plays an important role in an individual's achievement, of course, based on hard-work.
In many cases, working hard is essential to a person's accomplishment. Almost all of us, except those who are bring up in an noble family or whose parents are millionaires, need to pay great attention in studying. Entrepreneurs, for instance, cannot run any business without working hard or keeping learning. Politicians, as well, must study to have advantage...
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Question: Summarise the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt on specific points made in the reading passage.
The professor casts doubt on the migration hypothesis stated in the reading passage and proves that the reasons supporting the hypothesis in the reading passage are not valid.
First of all, contrary to the statement in the reading passage that the migration hypothesis can be reinforced by the edmontosaur's diet since they feed exclusively on plants which won't grow in the cold North Slope winter, the professor asserts that the warm weather and extensive sunlight in summer provide extremely appropriate conditions for the plants so that the died plants in the winter can offer plentiful nutrientions for Edmontosaurs to survive.
What's more, despite the author in the reading passage claims that the fact that edmontosaurs live in herds strengthens the migration hypothesis, the professor proves the point in the reading passage indefensible by pointing out that animals live in herds for many other reasons. The professor asserts that animals can protect themselves for predators by living in herds and it's very useful even though they live in the same site. The professor also illustrates an example of a kind of animal that don't migrate but live in herds to bolster his perspective.
Finally, the professor is skeptical about the point in the reading passage that edmonosaurs possess locomotive power to migrate long distances, the professor, by comparison, refutes that juvenile edmonosaurs lack the ability to migrate long distances. It's impossible for the adult edmonosaurs to leave the juvenile behind since the juvenile can't survive without them, which means that the migration hypothesis is not reasonable and they have to survive in the North Slope together.
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