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I am an American English teacher. I have lived in China for a year and can speak some Chinese but I often find that educated people are reluctant to speak Chinese with me. I wonder if they feel obligated in some way to speak to me in English. Could anyone help me to understand why they are so reluctant?
Whenever I go to visit one of my student's homes I don't expect his parents, relatives or friends to be able to hold an English conversation with me unless they have recently studied English or use English on an almost daily basis, so I always engage them in conversation in Chinese, but I often find that they either reply to me in whatever English they know, which usually is very little, or reply to my student and then have him or her translate their words into English for me. As my student translates for them or as they speak English themselves they often say something like, &My dad/I studied English in school but has/have mostly forgotten it now, sorry.& Why should he apologize? It's true that he can speak very little or no English, but does he truly feel embarrassed? I wouldn't expect someone who studied calculus in school to remember the difference between differentiation and integration, and I certainly don't remember the German I studied in school, so why should they remember English? Furthermore, if I talk to them in Chinese doesn't that indicate to them that I can speak and understand enough Chinese to have a conversation with them? Why don't they talk back to me in Chinese? Even if I persist in talking to them in Chinese they don't talk back to me, except for very short answers. In short, it makes it impossible for me to have a conversation with them. Do they feel obliged to speak English? This is very frustrating to me.
Here's another example of what seems to be an obligation to speak English. My Chinese friend (who I always speak with in Chinese) asked me to see Matrix Revolutions with her, so we set the date and time to meet and I also asked her to bring a friend along. She told me that she would, but that her friend couldn't speak much English, to which I said, in Chinese, &No problem, you know I can speak Chinese.& But when the time came to meet at the theater she came alone. When I asked where her friend was she said that her friend felt ashamed that even though she had studied English in school she couldn't speak English with me but that I could speak Chinese with her, so she didn't come. I don't understand this. I live in China and should learn Chinese. Morever, it's easy for me to learn Chinese in China because I have a chance to speak it every day. Why does she feel so ashamed? English is most likely useless for her, there's no reason for her to remember it. Is it that her friend was just shy or didn't really want to come or is it that she feels obliged to speak to me in English? This sort of reaction on the part of her friend makes it seem like all Chinese living in China should speak English to Westerners, but that no Westerners living in China should speak Chinese to Chinese. If I didn't know better I would even think that this sort of thing is rude because it tends to impy that all Chinese are clever enough to learn English but that no Westerner is clever enough to learn Chinese.
In fact, these sorts of actions seem quite abundant, and I have especially noticed them among male Chinese English teachers. One teacher at my school sometimes goes out with me and when I say something like, &I am going to the bathroom&, he always motions to help me, which is just being polite, but when I insist that I can make it on my own he says, &But there won't be any English sign for the toilet, how will you know where it is?&, which of course implies that I haven't yet, in the course of a year, learned how to ask the way to the toilet in Chinese or how to read even two or three Chinese characters. What frustrates me most is that he should know that I can speak some Chinese, as I have spoken Chinese to others around him many times. Why does he still insist on translating everything for me into English? Does he feel some sort of obligation, like I expect him to create an English environment for me?
Basically, my questions boil down to these: 1) Do Chinese feel an obligation to speak in English with Westerners, even when the Westerner can speak Chinese? 2) If so, why? If not, why is it so difficult for them to speak in Chinese with me?
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The foreigner can speak Chinese? How you should respond?
It's been a long time since I last logged into China Daily's BBS, mostly because I found this BBS to be vile, but also because I started a blog, . However, I've just written an article in Chinese relating to this thread and .
[ Last edited by kevin_smith at
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please. Are they have to do what you want them to do?
You have been in china for a year. You have learned some chinese in this year and i believe you can speak some good chinese thing. Here i suppose while you teach your students english ,you can also learn some chinese culture and chinese history. I think that could be helpful for your question.
When you live in Rome ,do as Romans do.
Sometimes I also feel why some people are too polite to make me feel unnature. Just like you say do they have the obligation? Thought you and me can feel &oh!please do not do that. Thank you. Thank you.. I just want you to speak chinese with me.please don't feel embarrased....& You just can think about that but you can't and have no right to want them to do what....
Just adapt that if can't ,don't communicate with them.
And i think you can emphasize your chinese level is good very much. You can totally understand them when you can't you'll ask them something more.
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my opinnion
china is now becoming more international .it&&requires english ability .so that's why more and more chinese are crazying for english .and make most use of any opportunity to improve it . on the other hand ,it 's considered more polite to speak with a foreigner in English .but if u suggest to talk in Chinese ,of course ,no problem .
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&Basically, my questions boil down to these: 1) Do Chinese feel an obligation to speak in English with Westerners, even when the Westerner can speak Chinese? 2) If so, why? If not, why is it so difficult for them to speak in Chinese with me?&
What's so perplexing about this topic?&&This is so very simple.
English is the international language.&&People who speak English in this world have the most dominant power and are those who control.&&In China, it is beneficial for trade, international relations and numerous professions and possibilities.&&So, everyone who isn't a native English speaker is dying to learn English as it gets them status, money and power.&&To put it briefly, knowing English is an invaluable asset: so much that it's nearly equivalent to the aforesaid possessions.
Now, since Chinese traditions put great emphasis on &face&, English is something to flout, similar to how some people boast about how much money they make per annum.
So, basically, they feel an obligation to speak English because it's a priceless asset that they can't afford to lose face on.
It's ridiculous, but the world isn't fair.&&People who are born speaking English have a privileged status in this world.&&Anyway, I digress.
Secondly, for similar reasons, the converse of them would mean that foreigners are not expected to know Mandarin.&&This further puts weight on the &losing face& aspect as this relatvely rare occurrence is formidable.&&By this I mean that people would rather &wow& a foreigner speaking Mandarin than a Chinese person speaking English with great capability.&&So, the Chinese person would try as best as they could to converse in English to save face.&&This is one of many ways to save face.&&Another might be to sprout a lot of Chinese idioms (chengyu) to befuddle or impress the foreigner.
Apologizing or feeling embarrassed about their English capabilities is simply a sign of a lack of self-esteem.&&In fact, this is similar to an inferiority complex.
To put it very simply - this is a common mentality: &English is a status symbol and I must show that I am capable.&&Therefore, people who speak English (e.g. foreigners) I shall kowtow because they are better than the others and have the most power in this world.&&If I don't know much English, it means that I am worthless so I will speak as long as I can hold out for.&&What?&&This foreigner can also speak Mandarin?&&This makes me feel even more worthless.&&Must apologize for my shame.&
As much as I hate this, this is an everyday occurrence and ingrained culture caused by history.
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Less is More
I am a USA guy and have been in China for more than three and a half years.
If you want to communicate with Chinese people, use fewer words and get to the point sooner. You may think you are saying a lot of useful stuff, but many people are not understanding you as well as you think.
As far as an obligation to speak English... well, the students parents are sacrificing a lot to send their kids to school. So let the student show that they are learning English and not that you are learning Chinese. Then their parents and relatives can be impressed.
And, although your close Chinese friends can understand you when you speak Chinese, other Chinese people may not be able to. Just back off and let it happen... things are not as they appear to be... it will take more time to understand...
Best of luck to you
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why chinese prefer to talk english with u , even if they dont know much english
as u know ,people would like to take the advantage of everything.just like u , u want to learn chinese in china , chinese like to learn english from english speakers. it is very simple reason . i just wonder why u are puzzled about that .
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