for this web site to function properly.
Becoming a Peer Provider
Is It Just a Mood or Something Else?
Information on mood disorders for young people it Just a Mood...
What’s going on?
Take a look at the lists below and check the things that describe your thoughts, feelings or actions, now or recently.
Sadness that won’t go away
Anger or irritability
Changes in your appetite— eating more or eating less
Hard time sleeping or sleeping too much
L feeling exhausted or burned-out
Hard time making decisions
Guilt, feelings of worthlessness
Headache, upset stomach or other physical pain that doesn’t seem to have a physical cause
Not able to enjoy things you once liked
Using alcohol or drugs
Thinking about hurting yourself
Thinking about dying or killing yourself.
If you are thinking about hurting yourself in any way, tell someone right away. There is more about suicide later on this page.
Really good, or better-than-good mood
Feeling all-powerful, very confident, like you can do anything
Less need for sleep
Big plans, big ideas, lots of projects
Aggressiveness, short temper, rage
Fast thoughts, feeling like you can’t shut off your mind
Can’t stop talking
Restless, like jumping out of your skin
Making spur-of-the-moment or bad decisions
Mind bouncing from one thought to another
Fast driving, spending a lot of money, having unsafe sex
Feeling like people are out to get you
Seeing or hearing things others say aren’t there
The first list describes symptoms of depression. The second describes symptoms of mania. If you checked five or more items from the first list or three or more items from the second list, you may have depression or manic depression (now known as bipolar disorder). This doesn’t mean you’re crazy, weird or a bad person.
Depression and bipolar disorder are medical illnesses that can be treated. This brochure was written to tell you about these illnesses and what you can do to feel better. Don’t try to diagnose yourself. Only a doctor can tell if you have depression or bipolar disorder.
What is depression?
I do't want to go to school or see my friends or anything. I just hate everybody right now. I feel lousy and worthless. My life sucks.
Everyone has good days and bad days, ups and downs. School, parents and relationships can be confusing and frustrating. Things can be great one minute, awful the next. This can feel overwhelming. Everyday sadness can be caused by a loss or a major life change, such as the death of someone you care about, a break-up of a relationship, or the divorce of your parents. But if this unhappiness lasts for more than two weeks and starts to interfere with your life, it might be something more serious.
When people talk about feeling “depressed,” they might mean they’re having a bad day, or they might be talking about clinical depression. The difference between having a bad day and clinical depression is:
How intense the mood is: Depression is more intense than a bad mood.
How long it lasts: A bad mood is usually gone in a few days, but clinical depression lasts two weeks or longer.
How much it interferes with your life: A bad mood does not keep you from going to school or spending time with friends. Depression can keep you from doing these things, and may even make it difficult to get out of bed.
What is bipolar disorder?
Last week I felt on top of the world—like I was indestructible. But today I can’t even get up. I don’t think I’m going to feel like doing anything for a long time.
People who have bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression, usually experience periods of mania, or intense “highs” of energy, (including any or all of the symptoms in the second list above) followed by periods of depression. Symptoms of bipolar disorder, like symptoms of depression, can be different for different people. It’s important to tell your doctor all of the symptoms you are having, or have experienced in the past, in order for your doctor to make an accurate diagnosis. Often, people with bipolar disorder are misdiagnosed with depression because they don’t report their symptoms of mania. Symptoms of mania can feel really good for a while, especially if they happen right after you’ve been feeling depressed. But they can also lead to serious or even life-threatening problems if they cause you to do things that are reckless or impulsive.
What causes depression and bipolar disorder?
Why is this happening to me? Is it something I did?
Depression and bipolar disorder are physical illnesses, just like diabetes or asthma. No one would expect to get over diabetes or asthma by “trying harder” or “snapping out of it.” Researchers believe that depression and bipolar disorder are caused by an imbalance in brain chemicals called neurotransmitters. Depression and bipolar disorder can also be brought on by other medical illnesses, medications you may be taking, a change in health habits, stress, hormonal changes, or drug or alcohol use. You can’t catch these illnesses from someone else and they are not caused by being a “bad person” or having a “bad parent.” They do run in families, though, so if someone else in your family has one of these illnesses, you might be more likely to have one, too. Anyone can get depression or bipolar disorder—people of all ages and all races from all walks of life. About one in ten people will experience some form of depression or bipolar disorder between the ages of 13 and 19, so if you have one of these illnesses, you are not alone. It’s smart to seek help as soon as possible, because the earlier you get treatment, the more likely it is that you will be able to successfully manage your depression or bipolar disorder throughout your life.
How can I find help?
I'm afraid my parents will yell at me and tell me it’s my fault. And no one else knows about this... I don’t want them to think I’m nuts.
There are a lot of people who can support you in finding help. If your parents ask you what’s wrong, tell them. Often, parents are concerned about you and really want to help. If you don’t feel you can talk to your parents, tell another adult you trust, such as:
Another family member—an older brother or sister, aunt, uncle, grandparent
Another trusted adult—a neighbor or a friend’s parent
A teacher, school counselor or other adult at school
Your family doctor
A member of the clergy or another person at your place of worship
Someone working at a phone crisis line, helpline or neighborhood drop-in center
It’s not shameful to have an illness that affects your thoughts and behaviors. Hiding your symptoms, or ignoring them and hoping they’ll go away, can make things worse. You can get better, but it takes treatment, not just “willpower.”
What’s treatment like?
I hated medication at first. It didn’t take effect overnight, either. It was more gradual, like one day I was listening to music and enjoying it, and I realized, hey, I haven’t had a miserable thought in like, hours, and I wasn’t even trying not to! I like the way I feel now much better.
There are many safe, effective treatments for both depression and bipolar disorder. People with these illnesses usually are helped by three things: medication, counseling (talk therapy) and support from people such as a DBSA group.
Although the moral support of friends and family can be very helpful, talking with them is not enough to treat depression or bipolar disorder. It’s important to see a doctor who can make a diagnosis and put together a treatment plan that’s right for you. Your doctor may suggest psychotherapy or “talk therapy,” which can sometimes treat depression by itself. A good therapist can help you deal with the feelings you are having and help you find your way out of depression. Your doctor may also prescribe medication.
Medications called antidepressants are prescribed for depression and mood stabilizers are used to treat bipolar disorder. These medications do not cause “highs” or artificial happiness, do not change your personality, are not habit forming and don’t “space people out.” They help return you to a stable, comfortable mood. They help you be you. Sometimes people have to try more than one treatment before they find the right one. It may take a combination of medications to help you feel better. Don’t get discouraged. You and your doctor will find the treatment that’s right for you.
You may see ads on TV, in newspapers or magazines, or on the internet for “natural” or “herbal” treatments for depression or bipolar disorder. Not a lot of research has been done on these treatments and unfortunately, natural does not always mean safe. If you would like to try a natural remedy, talk to your doctor first. It’s very important not to take any additional pills or supplements, change your dose, or stop taking your medication without talking to your doctor about it.
What if I feel like killing myself? What can I do?
Two years ago I tried to kill myself. My mother found me and took me to the hospital. At first I was really mad that she hadn’t let me die, but now that I’ve been working on getting better for awhile, I’m really glad to still be here.
The feelings that cause a person to think about suicide are caused by the person’s illness. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Don’t be afraid to talk about these feelings. They are real, not a sign of weakness. With the right help, you can begin to feel better. Some things you can do if you’re thinking about suicide:
Tell someone right away.
Develop a plan to make sure you’re not by yourself, with the help of your family and/or friends. Don’t use alcohol and/or drugs.
Ask your parents to lock up any guns or other dangerous items in the house. Throw away all medications you are no longer taking.
Depression and bipolar disorder can cause your mind to focus only on the bad things. Remember that this is part of your illness—it’s not who you are and it’s not the way things will always be.
Have regularly scheduled health care appointments and keep them.
Keep pictures of your favorite people with you or where you can see them at all times to remind you they are there for you.
If you can, get involved in things you like to do. If you can’t, then just spend time with family and friends, even if you are only doing something quiet like watching TV, going to a movie or reading with someone else in the room.
If you drive, be sure a friend or family member knows to take away your car keys when you are feeling suicidal.
Talk about how you’re feeling. At a DBSA support group, you can meet other people who may have been through some of the same things you have.
How can I help a family member or friend?
My best friend has been acting so bizarre lately. Now she’s really scaring me because yesterday she said this world would be better off without her.
If you think someone you know has symptoms of depression or bipolar disorder:
Encourage them to seek help from their doctor, a school counselor, or another type of counselor or social worker. You might want to offer to go with them to their first appointment.
Learn all you can about depression and bipolar disorder. You might be that person’s only source of information about mood disorders.
Let them know you care. Remind them that they shouldn’t feel ashamed or guilty. Avoid telling them things like, “Snap out of it.” Let them know their feelings are caused by an illness that can be treated.
Invite them out. Realize they might not want to go at first. If they say no, ask them again later, or offer to stay in and spend time with them.
If you are worried they might be suicidal, ask them, and help them get help. A straightforward, caring question about suicide will not cause someone to start having suicidal thoughts. If they are thinking of suicide, don’t promise secrecy. Tell someone you trust immediately.
Talk to them about attending a DBSA support group meeting. It can help them to learn that they are not alone.
Make sure they do not have access to things that can cause injury, like knives, guns, alcohol or drugs.
DO NOT take responsibility for making your friend or family member well. You are not a therapist.
If the person is in immediate danger, call 911.
What are support groups like?
I'm really grateful for my DBSA group. Even though a lot of people there are older than me, they actually understand, which is more than I can say for most of the people at my high school.
DBSA has 1000 support groups across the country. Each is a place where people can share their feelings, ask questions, talk about coping skills and find strength. By sharing your experiences, you can help others, too. Support group members are people with mood disorders and their families. Each group has a professional advisor and an appointed group leader. DBSA groups help people remember they are not alone, and can also help them stick with their treatment plans. Call (800) 826- 3632 or visit the
to find a support group near you. If there is no group in your area, we can help you start one.
Never give up hope
If you are having mood swings that worry you, find out if you have depression or bipolar disorder. These illnesses are treatable, and you can feel better. Your symptoms are nothing to be ashamed of, and the best thing you can do for yourself is get help. Always remember that you are not alone, and by working with your doctor, you can find a treatment that helps you.
A note to parents:
Watching a child go through an episode of depression or mania is painful for parents, too. Often, children will refuse help or insist that parents don’t understand. Parents, too, may be told their children will “snap out of it” or “need more discipline.” With a medical illness such as depression or bipolar disorder, however, treatment—whether it’s talk therapy, medication, or another method you and your child’s doctor choose—is the most important thing. It’s also helpful to get support for yourself from other parents who can share their experiences and help you as your family journeys through treatment. Attend a DBSA support group in your area, or see the resources section for other organizations that can help.
These well-regarded organizations also offer information about depression or bipolar disorder. They are not affiliated with DBSA and DBSA is not responsible for the content or accuracy of the material they provide.
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (202) 966-7300
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (888) 333-2377
Center for Mental Health Services (800) 789-2647
Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation (847) 256-8525
Federation of Families for Children’s Mental Health (703) 684-7710
Focus Adolescent Services - An Internet Clearinghouse of Information, Resources, and Support (877) FOCUS-AS (877-362-8727)
National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) (800) 950-6264
National Hopeline Network (800) SUICIDE (800-784-2433)
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) (301) 443-4513
National Mental Health Association (NMHA) (800) 969-6642
You may also want to check major internet search engines for groups, clubs or chats related to young people and depression or bipolar disorder. Remember that your treatment decisions should be made only by you and your doctor, and your decisions should be based on correct information from reputable sources such as the ones listed above. While others’ experiences can provide a lot of hope and support, everyone is different, and each person recovers in his or her own way. “Miracle” or “instant” cures will not take the place of a good treatment plan.
OUR MISSION: DBSA provides hope, help, support, and education to improve the lives of people who have mood disorders.Did you ever think someone was scary (恐怖的)because they looked different or ate strange food? Well, they might think the same about you! One of the things we all need to do is to
variety．We shouldn’t think badly of people from other cultures because they behave differently from us. Sometimes we treat people from other countries unfairly, because one person from that culture did something bad．Well, has your class ever been punished just because a few kids were causing trouble? Has your whole family ever been blamed for something your little sister did? It doesn’t seem fair, does it? It’s just equally unfair to blame a whole culture for what two or three people have done.So here are some things that you can do to help yourself understand other cultures:①Find common ground!Just remember that even though some people look different on the outside, that doesn’t change how they are on the inside．They still have the exact same feelings! ②________________Because someone from another culture has been mean to you, you decide to avoid everyone from that culture．Well think about it．Why are you blaming them for something they didn’t have anything to do with? Put yourself in their shoes．How would you feel? Putting yourself inside someone else’s head can be a very powerful way to understand WHY they are acting the way they are.③Try to make friends with people from other cultures! You could ask them about their culture, or what it is like in their country, if they can remember, or if they have ever lived there．Try foods from their culture, or ask them about words in their language．You might be surprised at how interesting other cultures can be! You can join great discussion groups, participate in projects, and have lots of fun doing new things.④Be aware that you’ve judged other peopleIf you know what you have done, it helps to make things better．Pay attention to what you think about other people．It helps.小题1:What is mainly discussed in this passage?&&
A．Why there are differences between people
B．What to do to understand other cultures
C．How people feel when they meet people from other cultures
D．The differences between people from different cultures
小题2:Which of the following can be put into the blank behind ②?
A．Avoid everyone from that culture!
B．Put all responsibilities on others!
C．Consider oneself first!
D．Don’t blame all because of one!
小题3:The underlined word “celebrate” most probably means “_______”.
A．feel proud of
B．express ideas of
C．praise and enjoy
D．pay attention to
小题4:The following can be the better way to treat foreigners except_______.
A．join their discussion groups
B．try foods from their culture
C．avoid meeting them
D．find common ground
小题1:B小题2:D小题3:C小题4:C
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扫描下载二维码The Definition of Respect ~ Do Disrespectful People deserve to be Respected? :: Emerging From Broken
The Definition of Respect ~ Do Disrespectful People deserve to be Respected?
poster by Judy Baxter ~ quote by Darlene Ouimet
R.E.S.P.E.C.T. find out what it means to YOU………
A lot of my emotional healing grew out of realizing the truth about some of the concepts that I had been taught wrong. The people who were in a position of power in my life taught me a lot of false definitions of words like love, respect, relationship, trust, forgiveness and a few others. Growing up from so young with the false definitions I had been taught caused me to automatically accept them as the truth.
Yesterday on my previous post when referring to her mother a commenter wrote “I am sure she thinks she deserves to be respected…” and it got me thinking about how much learning the truth about definitions of certain key words and concepts helped me in my process of overcoming depression, trauma and low self-esteem.
When I refer to a person in a position of power I am not just referring to our teachers, the police, or judges or government. I am also referring to “our elders” and our families. My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all in a positions of power in my life. My in-laws were in a position of power in my marriage and in our lives.
All these people were in that power position because they were “the adults” and I was a child. In my childhood that meant that they were right and I was wrong. In my adulthood, this belief didn’t change because they never let it. In both cases (as a child and as an adult) this is called a dysfunctional relationship because the elders decide and communicate that not everyone in the relationship has equal value.
It was a huge part of my survival mode to go along with these false teachings and when I became an adult I still believed the false truth that they were right and I was wrong because I had never known anything different and I didn’t know what the real definition of respect was.
People are quick to tell us that we ‘should respect’ our parents. Our parents tell us that they should be respected. One time when I was in my thirties my mother referenced the bible to me saying “what happened to that bible verse that says ‘honour thy mother and thy father’?” This was her way of dictating to me that if I went against anything she wanted or whatever she said, that I was being disrespectful. But is that the truth? Is not doing what someone else wants or not agreeing with what they say the same as being disrespectful? Is standing up for yourself and your human rights a display of disrespect?
I get a lot of comments in this website about respect that communicate that most of us have accepted a false definition of the word respect when it comes to whoever we believe is in a position of authority or power oin our lives.
So what is respect?
Based on the , do you think that abusive controlling or manipulative parents should be automatically respected?
Do you think that parents who neglect their children or do not protect them from danger, or teach/communicate to them that whatever they are upset about or any wrong done to them, is something they brought on themselves?
re·spect/ri?spekt/
A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Have you ever used or do you use the above definition of respect as a guideline to understanding what you are being accused of when you were being called “disrespectful”?
I did a search on
and what I ran across made me angry. Here is one of the top search
“One of the “golden rules” that is usually taught in society is to respect your parents (as well as your elders). Although you may not like them, or what they do, you should always have respect for them. Think about it: they have to put up with you too on a daily basis! Everyone knows that sometimes they are hard to be around, but your parents love you and just want to raise you to be the best that you can be. The least you can do for them is to show them respect, which means listening when they are talking, not talking down to them, and not raising you voice to them, among many other things.”
This is the kind of teaching I run into all the time. What the heck does this even mean? There are no “unless they are abusing you” parts to this teaching. This teaching assumes that the parents have the best interests of the child in mind. But what about when they DON’T. In this website we are usually talking about when they don’t have the adult child or the young child’s best interests in mind at all.
And anoth by this definition of respect in the above quote, what about when parents don’t listen to their children? What about when parents talk down to their children? What about when parents raise their voices to their children? Parents always seem to be exempt from these directives!
Children learn what is modeled to them by the adults in their lives. They learn from the people who have power in their lives. Children learn by example and the only way to teach respect is to BE respectful.
In the case of most of the people who read Emerging from Broken, the people who have been in power and authority in our lives, have misused their power. Do they still deserve respect?
Unless they acknowledge their disrespect and stop misusing their power, I don’t think so. I think that people who ARE respectful deserve to be respected. Respect is not an automatic or a ‘given’. Respect is earned by actions based in the true definition of love.
Please share your thoughts! I made huge leaps forward when I saw these word definitions through the grid of the truth about them verses the false ways that I had been taught about them. As always you privacy is important. Please feel free to use any name you wish in the comment form. Only the name you use will be seen by others so if you don’t want your real name or your last name published, don’t use it. Your email address will always be private.
Exposing T on
Darlene Ouimet
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I love this one for ALL my relationships. (and this applies to the way that my loved ones treat me too!)
“Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay”
Dalai Lama It isn't up to me to help my parents or to fix them by helping them understand what they are doing and what they communicate with their careless actions. I can't help them in any way other than by modeling self-love and self-care for me. Standing up to them IS love, both for us and for them.
~ Darlene Ouimet author of popular e-book "Emerging from Broken The Beginning of Hope for Emotional Healing" “Do you ever notice feelings of trying to escape? Feelings like you "deserve" to escape your feelings? Feelings such as anxiety, fear or self-hate? The root of this desire to escape is in not being taken care of as a child victim of abuse. It comes from being pushed aside and not protected. When that feeling comes up, self-care is very important. Listen to yourself and find out what you need.” Darlene Ouimet “You cannot make yourself have a flashback, nor will you have one unless you are emotionally ready to remember something. Once remembered, the memory can help you to face more of the truth. You can then express your pent-up feelings about the memory and continue on your path to recovery. Think of the flashback as a clue to the next piece of work. No matter how painful, try to view it as a positive indication that you are now ready and willing to remember.”
The Right to Innocence by Beverly Engel "I no longer worry if the truth hurts someone elses feelings. When I decided to heal and move forward with my life, I had to stop taking care of other people’s feelings and finally validate my feelings. When I finally put my own healing first, I began to see the dysfunction more clearly. The people I was trying not to "hurt" were the ones that hurt me. I finally saw that I was contributing to the sick dysfunctional cycle by going along with it.”
Darlene Ouimet “Invalidation says, ‘no’ to the other’s experience and thus often to a part of the relationship. Because I don’t accept their experience, to the other person it frequently feels like I don’t accept them, their very Being or Soul. Because I don’t allow them to have and talk about their own personal experience, they may feel psychologically invisible, as though they don’t exist.”
Memory and Abuse by Whitfield
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