Free Dating Sites: Tips to date free or cheaply - MSE
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One in four
people now meet their partner online. Yet with 1,700 online dating sites in the UK alone,
it can be tough to sort the good from the bad, ugly and downright strange.
We've 20 tips to help you find The One online, including top free sites, discounts on paid-for sites, cheap date tricks and much more.
Best dating sites
In this guide
How to date online - and pay less!
Don't feel embarrassed about online dating
If you're embarrassed about looking for Mr or Ms Right online,
don't be. A recent poll on our Facebook page shows there's no longer a
stigma about online dating, with 98% of respondents saying it's a
great way to meet a partner.
Here are some MoneySavers' experiences for inspiration. Please share yours in our
forum discussion.
lady nearly six years ago
and we got married last August. Way to
Met my partner online, been together five years and have a gorgeous little girl. I
know it doesn't work for everyone. But don't knock it till you try it!- CLARE
I met my partner online on a free dating site and we're very much in
love. I agree it's quite a daunting experience, but once you sift out the
players, it can be positive.- FAIRYFOOTS
Online dating safety - the key need-to knows
Though most
people use dating sites without any serious problems, it's important to keep your wits about you when you're dealing with strangers.
These are our key pointers for staying safe:
Tell friends where you'll be on the first date
When you feel ready to meet your online date face-to-face, make sure someone knows where you're going. Also tell them who you're meeting, and when you'll be back.
Take a mobile phone and arrange to let them know when you've got back home
safely - and tell your date that others know where you are.
Don't give out personal info
Don't give out your number or personal email
to someone you haven't met yet. Only share personal details
when you've got to know the other person, and you're sure it's a genuine online dater based in the UK.
This guide
only includes sites that ask for
permission before revealing your contact details to users.
ALWAYS read the terms before you join
Key points to check include whether it'll post your profile on other sites, how it'll use your data, contract length, how you cancel, what safety support's available, exactly what you're getting for the price, and whether
membership auto-renews.
If you don't agree with the terms, don't sign up. Similarly, only go with a site you're happy with, and check its feedback online - it may be better to go with a bigger established site you've heard of than an unknown name.
Don't assume paid sites are safer
vigilant with both.
The Metropolitan Police told us:
Fraudsters operating on these sites are often highly sophisticated professionals. Sites that require payment do not automatically deter them.
Also see full safety tips on spotting .
Beware dating fraud scams
Here, someone gains your trust to demand cash, even using
your private photos or webcam footage to blackmail you.
If you think you're being targeted, the Metropolitan Police says DO NOT
send any money - report it to , or
your local police station on 101 if you feel threatened. If you're in immediate danger, call 999.
Meet in a public place
We know seclusion can be romantic - but best to leave it till
you know 'em better.
Trust your instincts
Don't rush into meeting up
just because your free trial's about to end (or because they 'liked' your profile). Get to know them properly first - your safety's more important. If it doesn't feel right, move on.
Of course, dating websites are a huge boon in the digital age. Used right, they can be fantastic tools to help you filter through thousands of potential matches at speed. They can get real results
- here's a MoneySaver's success story to inspire you.
Joined an online
dating site and after a couple of months I met
Damian. We
emailed and spoke online for a few weeks,
talking on the
phone most nights. We eventually met up for our first date and have never
looked back. We've now been married
nearly two years, and have an 11-week old son.- Rachael
Make your profile stand out
Your profile will be your first introduction to your future match, so here are some key tips to help
get it right:
Say what you're looking for. If you're after a soulmate and they just want a quick fumble in the bushes, it'll only waste your time. If it's you that's after a quick fumble, don't be too boorish - make sure they're happy too.
Upload several recent photos. You'll get more interest if you upload a few snaps of yourself, rather than just one.
Spelling mistaykes ain't sexy. Take your time and think
about how you want to come across. You could even get a trusted friend to read it first.
Ask friends how they'd describe you. Even if you don't think you're anything special, they may
see you as a great cook or gentle giant.
Say something interesting. If you've interests or hobbies, these can help you stand out. So if you're a huge Star Trek fan, don't think you have to hide it. It gives matches something to talk about.
Make it clear who you are. If your pics are all group shots, suitors may not know which is you. Avoid exes - this isn't the place for your old wedding photos.
Avoid cringeworthy cliches. Steer clear of phrases such as ?I work hard and play hard?, ?I?m looking for a partner in crime" and "I'm just as happy staying in watching a DVD as I am going out".
Honesty's the best policy
your best bits in your profile, but be truthful. Your
date will quickly realise you're not a seven-foot human rights lawyer who rows part-time for Team GB
when they meet you. (Unless you are, in which case,
please email MSE Archna.)
a picture of you seven years ago before you gained a few pounds and lost a few
hairs won't impress if it looks absolutely nothing like you now.
The key is if you're looking for a long-term relationship with
this person, you won't be able to keep up the pretence long-term. Fibs lead to
disappointment all round.
How to secure yourself a date
When sending that first message, don't just cut
and paste the same reply to everyone. It pays to show that you actually read
their profile.
You could always compose a standard introduction, and adapt parts to make it specific to each person, eg, "I love the fact that you're into hang-gliding".
Steer clear of cheesy cliches such as "nice
pic, what's up?", "what's your star sign?" and "I don't bite, I
promise...
unless you want me to".
That said, don't get too serious - aim for fun, snappy and short.
Don't fall for unwanted
dating site upsells
Many dating sites offer pricey membership upgrades to bump up their profits. Yet only sign up to a premium package if you need it,
you know exactly what it includes, and you'll actually use the extras, eg, a more prominent profile or easier messaging.
makes you pay for extra features, such as the ability to go
online in 'unavailable' mode and request read receipts.
encourages you to
buy Zoosk Coins, which you can spend on extra features such as getting your
profile higher up in search results.
worth starting off with a basic package to see how you get on, so you don't shell out unnecessarily. If you aren't getting many replies, it could simply be
you've picked the wrong type of site for your needs, or your profile needs a bit more polish - see how to .
Top tips to help on your first
Once you're sure you've snagged a winner online, your first face-to-face date is a crucial part of the process to see if there's real chemistry between you. To help:
Chat on the phone before meeting. This'll help screen out any unsuitables, plus it'll help you build common ground to talk about when you first meet. But only give out your number when you're sure.
Go on a 'pre-date'.
Check if they're dreamy or a dud with a quick 'pre-date' to see if you want to invest
time and money in a full date. A
coffee during a work lunchtime's ideal - ensure there's a defined end time.
First impressions count. If you've had all your online dates in your PJs with a TV dinner, this isn't the time to follow suit. Dress to impress, and don't be late.
Relax - be yourself! Easier said than done if you've
first-date jitters, but remember they'll
be nervous too. So don't worry too much, and
Don't drink too much. It's easy to do if
nervous on a first date, but it's far safer to stay sober if you've only met online (please be ).
Make sure someone knows where you're going. Tell a good friend where you're going, who you're meeting, and when you'll be back. Take a mobile phone and arrange to let them know when you've got back home safely - and tell your date that others know where you are.
Use protection! We don't want to sound like your mum, but if passions are high, you don't want to return
with more than you planned for. See the
for contraception and STI info.
If you're strapped for time for your first meeting, here's one forumite's tip to help:
has been very active on
internet dating for some time now. One of her rules is that she always
tries to meet any date in her
lunch hour. She says an hour's long
enough to give you an idea of whether you're both interested. If you're not,
it's only an hour to perservere rather than be stuck with someone for a whole evening.- chickalittle
Beware dating site auto-renewals
Before you sign up, always check the terms
to see if it'll automatically continue to take payments
once your initial contract's ended.
Sadly many forumites report being caught out by these. If you can't opt out, set a free
reminder for the contract's end, or a separate phone reminder, so you remember to cancel
if you no longer need it.
A drink's cheaper than a meal - don't waste cash on a dud
If you're looking for a first date venue, a nice cafe or bar's a far more MoneySaving choice than a
restaurant. As you'll only need to buy a drink, you won't have to fork out for a posh dinner only to find they don't live up to your expectations.
Plus you won't feel you need to sit through an entire meal together if you don't hit it off - and if you do, a drink and a chat together can last for as long as you want. One forumite's experience:
My first date
was pretty cheap and cheerful - two
drinks in a pub, one of which was non-alcoholic as we were both
It was a perfect two
hours, one of the nicest dates I have ever been on. - Snaggles
If you're paying, try it for one month first
If you're new to a paid online dating site, consider joining for one month first to see if it suits. Then if you think you're in it for the
long haul, it could be worth buying a few months upfront to save.
Most online dating sites charge less per month
the longer you sign up for. For example,
one month is usually ?30, yet
six months is ?60 (although there is often up to 30% off sign up costs). The catch is you're locked in and
usually won't get your
money back if you meet your soulmate in your first month.
Set up a separate email address
If you decide to take the plunge, it's a good idea to set up a separate email address just for any online dating accounts.
Use this for dating site sign-ups and getting in touch with others - this way it'll protect your personal email from
unwanted attention if things go wrong, or any online dating site spam. Think twice about using your work email address too.
More free ways to
meet your future partner
If you'd rather not use dating sites, you could try other social networking sites such as Facebook to meet friends of friends, as well as the MSE forum (see ). Plus there's a wealth of free local groups on , from
choirs and sports clubs to folk just looking for friends for chats over coffee - just click on your area to find them.
Of course, dating existed long before the internet muscled in. If you're looking to meet like-minded people offline, you could try volunteering
- there's a useful list of resources to help find placements on . It's possible to get into big paid music festivals for free through volunteer schemes - see the
page for info.
Or you could ask a close friend to set you up with an eligible single friend they think you'd get on well with. Some inspiration from the forums:
How about matchmaking?
Ask your friends or families if they can
introduce you to someone they know very well,
who is single and
searching. It has worked for my husband and I, we were matched by a friend many
years ago. - mamamia
hunt for more ideas. If you're really looking to impress, try the
forum discussion (or if it goes really well, see the great
Meet other MoneySavers
in the forum
Though the MSE forum isn't
a dedicated dating site, it's led to several real-life weddings between MSE forumites. One of these couples met in our virtual pub, ,
where many MoneySavers go to meet like-minded people online.
People tell us it's a great way to meet folk if
you're on a budget or have money issues, as there's no awkwardness.
If you're new to online dating, or have tips from your own experiences you'd like to pass on, the
forum's a great place to share
success (or horror!) stories, so get chatting. Remember it's a public forum - don't post personal info. Here are a few words from
to inspire you:
Five years ago I stumbled upon MSE
looking for cheaper car insurance. A
few glasses of vino and I ended up in the Arms, where I met Fat Boy...
flirty messages led to phone calls and meetings, an engagement and
eventually we finally tied the knot! - wishiwasarichgirl
Don't judge 'em all by one bad experience
Online dating's a hugely mixed bag. Many horror stories aren't due to
the dating sites, but the person you've chosen from 'em. So be aware
not everyone on there will have the best intentions (see ), but don't let the odd dodgy date put you off.
See these as a funny story to tell the grandkids once you've found your match. To show you it happens to the best of us, here's a story from our forums (please do share yours in our
forum discussion):
bored the pants off me, turned up with his
lunch down his top, nursed one pint for two hours (even though I
offered to buy him another) told me he felt I wasn't wham bam
enough for him by email
but would give me another go. Needless to say I just ignored him. It took a further two emails being ignored for him
to get the drift! - llh189
Try free museums, galleries & festivals for
There are loads of ways to easily cut dating costs. Plus as they're more thoughtful, they're likely to be more successful than a bog standard meal out.
For a cultured date that doesn't cost a penny, we've
listings of
, or try our
guide to see if there's one nearby. Or you could
to their fave TV show,
Forumites on the
discussions have loads of tried-and-tested dating recommendations. A few to whet your appetite(s):
Skip the expensive dinners. The best date I ever went on
was a drive to the coast, a walk along the wind-lashed beach, followed
by a cream tea in a pub by a roaring fire in winter. It was one of my first dates with the man who is now my hubby. It worked!- Jacks xxx
Go for a picnic at your local park. Bring a blanket, a picnic basket
packed with your favourite cheese, grapes, wine and some chocolate for
dessert. Bring along a book of poetry and take turns readings love poems
to each other. - deloina
Some of my
favourite moments with my now husband weren't
expensive. When we walked along
the river at night... a museum or
followed by a
mug of hot choc with marshmallows
can be more romantic than just going
for a meal.- Molanole
Me and my other half are skintaroonies, but every couple of weeks we go
to Orange Wednesdays at the pictures.
We get a nice evening out and it
costs buttons.- mooomin
impressed when a guy I liked
knew my fave chocolate
had some waiting for me
for DVD night. Was touched
by the thought even though it cost
less than ?1.- bellaboo86
Beware fake online dating profiles
Worryingly, a BBC One
investigation broadcast in August 2013 found several big dating sites had been using fake profiles to lure in
paid sign-ups, with new users reporting receiving bogus messages that disappeared when they
investigation
reported similar instances of dating site trickery.
It's illegal for a dating site to create fake profiles to generate cash. Trading Standards told us: "If a dating website provides misleading information (such as fake profiles), this could be an unfair
commercial practice under the Consumer Protection from Unfair
Trading Regulations 2008, and a criminal offence."
What to watch out for
If you're dating online, sadly there's little way of telling the real profiles from the fake. Some of the fake images were reported
taken from social networking sites without consent or old
pictures of celebrities. (We've not heard of Martin's being used - there's probably a reason for this...)
If you're concerned, you could try a
search to see if the profile image comes up anywhere else on the net.
So if your new hunk is actually just an old picture of George Clooney in his 20s, move on. This
won't always work, so
the key is not to get too attached before you've struck up a proper conversation with them.
What to do if you think you're being targeted
Sadly there's no specific regulator for online dating agents, so contact the Citizens Advice consumer helpline on
06 if you're concerned you may be being targeted by fake profiles, and it'll contact Trading Standards to investigate.
The Information Commissioner's Office (ICO) is also looking further into unscrupulous practices from some online dating companies. If you're worried your personal data's being used without your consent, contact the .
Restaurant vouchers can show you're good with cash
If you're out for a meal with your date, ensure you've a
to whip out when the bill comes. As well as saving you both cash, it'll show your date you're good with money too.
Don't feel bad about doing it. In
poll, a whopping 87% of
people either said it wasn't an issue, or it'd show they're a keeper.
Some of the past reticence was that vouchers were perceived as only for
low-end eateries, yet that's long gone.
Now if you?re savvy, you can
even grab a 2for1 at some Michelin-starred venues.
If you're still worried, you could be subtle about it, as lawrie28 suggests:
If it was me paying and using a voucher, I'd take the bill over
to the till or bar and pay there, rather than doing it at
the table.
Get Martin's Free Money Tips Email!
For all the latest deals, guides and loopholes - join the 10m who get it. Don't miss out
site a member of the association?
It's worth checking if a dating site's a member of
(ODA). This won't guarantee a hassle-free experience. But it
does mean the site has to commit to an industry code of practice that includes honest
communication with users, protecting their privacy and providing a way to
report abusive members.
If you have a complaint about a company, the ODA says you should contact
the dating site directly. While the association can't help resolve complaints,
it says it monitors the flow of issues, and may step in if something serious is
going wrong. We include whether our top dating sites below are members or not.
Not happy with a dating site? How to complain
If you've paid for a subscription upfront but
change your mind part-way through the contract,
sadly there's little hope of getting your money back. But if it isn't providing the service it agreed to when you signed up, you might have a case for a refund, or even compensation (though it's never guaranteed).
You've statutory rights for poor service - and this applies to dating sites too. If you don't think a service has been provided with 'reasonable care and skill', it's broken the terms of the contract, or you've been mis-sold (eg, you were told something would happen and it didn't) you've a right to complain. See
Check if you're in contract before cancelling
you're in a contract with a dating site,
cancelling may breach it, so check the paperwork first.
You may need to give it notice, or there may be penalties for early cancellation, which
could be cheaper than keeping it going.
Beware recurring payments. Also known as 'continuous payment authorities' (CPAs), these let firms take cash from your card regularly whenever they think they're owed.
You can still cancel a CPA or a direct debit if
in contract, but you'll need to find another way to pay for the rest of the contract. This is because you're only in breach of contract if you stop paying altogether, but not necessarily if you change the way you pay (always check the terms to be sure though).
Until 2009, only the company could cancel
them, you couldn?t.
though you now have a right to tell your
bank to cancel, many bank
staff didn?t know this and failed to do so. If you
asked your bank to cancel and it didn?t, you can now reclaim
If you're still having problems cancelling payments,
despite contacting both the dating site and your bank, you can make a complaint to the free . It
settles disputes independently and will look into the case on your behalf. See
for more help.
And finally... enjoy yourself!
It can take a lot of courage to put yourself out there. Yet once you've chosen your site and created your profile, it's time to stop worrying and be yourself.
While it's likely to take time to find your perfect match, online dating sites are ultimately tools to help you
increase your chances. Plus the web era means successful relationships that started online are
now hugely common. Good luck!
Top online dating sites
Never mind finding your soulmate - finding the right dating website can be tricky enough, with literally hundreds to chose from. We've rounded up a few of the best below:
The pick of the free sites
Anecdotally, free online dating sites
tend to attract a bit of a mixed bag, as there are fewer barriers. Of course, it depends on the website, but free dating sites
generally have more basic features and are less targeted to specific types of daters.
If you don't mind fending off (or ignoring) any unwanted messages, and you're aware of the online dating scams to watch out for (see ), they're a useful way to meet others on the web for nowt.
Best for casual flings, huge number of potential dates
A massive name in the world of free online dating,
lets you sign up, create a profile, send and receive messages for nowt.
One forumite says:
I met my wife on
Plenty of Fish and we had a beautiul baby girl in Jan, so it can and does work.
It took me two weeks to decide to
message her, as I felt
she was out of my league looks-wise, but it's the best thing I ever did.- nfollows1982
Who for? Everyone. Anecdotally, for short-term flings.
How big is it? Over 90 million registered users worldwide.
Allows same-sex searches? Yes.
Website or app? Both.
Online Dating Association member?
Cost: Free.
Safety tips: Safety features are basic, but
you can block problem users.
Quick questions:
How long does it take to set up a profile?
Signing up will take about an hour, as you need to
answer about 100 questions as part of its optional 'chemistry' and 'needs' tests.
You can also write a few paragraphs about yourself and add up to eight photos.
What's so special about this site?
As part of your profile, you can describe your personality in one word from a pre-selected list - which caters for everything from
'foodie' and 'nomad' to 'starving artist' and 'geek'. It also lets you choose potential matches by star sign.
You can choose what you're looking for from 'hangout', 'friends', 'dating' and 'long-term', though its intent section lets daters state if they're looking for 'no commitment'.
Do you need to pay for some of the features?
It's free to sign up, create a profile, and send and receive messages. Yet for those prepared to shell out, it also offers a premium account that lets you see when your profile was viewed by others, and whether the messages you've sent have been read.
Best for Facebook fans, quick sign-ups, dating locally
Very easy to use, and hugely popular with
social network addicts,
is a fast-paced (and addictive) free
dating app to meet others on your smartphone.
It's quick to join - you just
give it your Facebook info and you're ready to go.
Who for? App fans looking for
love locally.
How big is it? It's made 850m matches worldwide.
Cost: Free. (But you'll have to pay for the premium service, TinderPlus.)
Allows same-sex searches? Yes.
Website or app? App-only.
Online Dating Association member?
Safety tips: Basic safety features. It needs access to your Facebook account.
Quick questions
What is TinderPlus?
It's the premium paid-for version of Tinder. It offers users an extended version of the original app, including unlimited right-swipes, likes, and an undo button to recover mistaken swipes.
There is also a Passport function which allows users to flirt with potential partners in countries where they intend to travel.
Users under the age of 28 who want the extra functions will be charged ?3.99, and those 28 and over will pay ?14.99.
How long does it take to set up a profile?
It doesn't have a lengthy dating questionnaire. The concept's simple -
download an app, then log in using your Facebook profile.
It only shows your profile photos and interests - it won't show your entire
profile. Be careful
you're happy about the photos users will see.
What's so special about this site?
browse others' profile pics, swiping past any you aren't interested in. If you are, you simply click the 'heart' icon. If they've done the same for you, you can then send each other messages. The amount of times you can 'swipe right' has now been limited, we've asked Tinder for more information on this.
It also lets you set the age range of those you're looking for, find recommendations, and limit your search area to daters within a certain distance from you. If you're keen on playing Cupid, it even lets you matchmake friends.
Is there anything you need to watch out for?
Be aware you're giving the app access to your
Facebook account and pics. As ever, watch out if you aren't on Wi-Fi, as it'll eat into your data allowance.
Do you need to pay for some of the features?
You need to pay for TinderPlus features.
Best for urbanites looking to date locally
In the world before internet dating, finding a
Significant Other was all down to who you crossed paths with ? and
a playful twist on that, thanks to smartphones? GPS functionality.
This free dating app allows users to connect with each other as they cross paths in real life, with a range of up to 250m. It can even show users where and when they crossed paths.
It's free to download and uses your Facebook information to build a profile. It'll show your name, age, job and a few pictures.
Who for? Smartphone users in busy locations.
How big is it? The app has five million worldwide users and has one million active daily users.
Cost: Free.
Allows same-sex searches? Yes.
Website or app? App only.
Online Dating Association member?
Safety tips: Your
location remains completely invisible to the other users. Only the location of where you have passed each other is recorded.
You can also block and report users at any time.
Quick questions
How long does it take to set up a profile?
It's very quick. Just like Tinder, you download the app and then log in using your Facebook profile.
You can add additional photos from your phone if you are unhappy with the ones imported from Facebook.
What's so special about this site?
Instead of browsing dozens, if not hundreds, of profile pics, you'll only see people you've come into close proximity with. It could be someone you saw during your commute, in your office building or someone living nearby.
If you like the look of someone, you can tap the heart icon. They won't know you like them unless they feel the same and tap the heart icon. If you are a match, you can start sending each other messages.
Is there anything you need to watch out for?
Your phone's location setting needs to be turned on. The app also requires a constant internet connection in order to pick up other users, so be careful it doesn't eat into your data allowance if you're not on Wi-Fi.
Finally, just like Tinder, be aware you're giving the app access to your
Facebook account and pictures.
Do you need to pay for some of the features?
Men have to purchase "charms", which allow you to send a notification letting the other person know you are interested without waiting to see if they've also tapped the heart icon. They cost ?1.49 for 10 charms. Women get to send charms for free.
Best for regional searches
is a basic free dating site for online daters looking for both long and short-term relationships. Regional homepages help you quickly find daters near you, while its age categories span from over 18s to 50+.Who for? Those looking for a cheap 'n' cheerful free site.
Safety tips: It lets you
messages, block
viewers and report issues.
Cost: Free.
Allows same-sex searches? Yes.
How big is it? 40,000
UK members.
Online Dating Association member?
Website or app? Site and iOS.
Quick questions
How long does it take to set up a profile?
Signing up's quick, as
there are only a few questions ? you should be finished in under half an
The site takes up to 48 hours to approve your profile, though.
What's so special about this site?
Its homepage lets you search only new members from the last day or week.
Unusually for a free dating site, it's a member of
the Online Dating Association trade body.
Do you need to pay for some of the features?
Best for under-45s who don't mind ads
is surprisingly slick and user-friendly for a free dating site - though if you want to get rid of the ads, you'll have to pay.
One MoneySaver says:
I had the most
success on OKCupid, which is where I met my boyfriend. I've since recommended
it to lots of people - including my mum! She met someone on there too.- Nervoushomeowner
Who for? Under-45s
Cost: Free.
Allows same-sex searches? Yes.
Website or app?
How big is it? 30m users worldwide.
Safety tips: Lets you
report and block
problem users.
Online Dating Association member?
Quick questions:
How long does it take to set up a profile?
Completing your profile should take about an hour. You need to complete an
About section with details such as what you're good at and favourite books.
There are 50 questions, which can get deep, for example, 'What's your stance on
abortion?' You can skip as many as you like, but OKCupid says the more you
answer, the more matches you'll get.
What's so special about this site?
Unusually for a free dating site, OKCupid says it uses an algorithm developed by
mathematicians to match you with compatible partners. Its 'quickmatch' feature lets you rate or skip users at random, while if you've more time, you can go through a list of
detailed questions for more specific matches.
It's also got free mobile apps for
Do you need to pay for some of the features?
If you want extra features, it
has a subscription option to become an 'A-list member',
at $19.95 for one month (about ?12.50), $14.95/mth for three months (about ?9/mth), or $9.95/mth for six months (about ?6/mth).
Paid membership lets you view profiles invisibly, see the site without ads, and
even search others by attractiveness and body type, if you're so inclined.
Does it auto-renew your subscription?
Watch out, as paid membership auto-renews. See its
section for safety info.
Best for gay, bi or bi-curious men
Mega-popular
smartphone app
uses your phone's location to zero in on available men nearby.
often used for uncomplicated hook-ups, it's worth checking out for long-term
love as well, as it has such a huge number of users.Who for? Gay, bi or bi-curious men.
Cost: Free.
Allows same-sex searches? Duh! Yes.
Website or app?
How big is it? It has 2 million daily users.
Safety tips: You can block and report abusive members.
Online Dating Association member?
Quick questions
How long does it take to set up a profile?
complicated psychometric questionnaires here. Just download the app, give
yourself a profile name, upload a photo (optional), and answer a couple of
questions (also optional).
What's so special about this site?
interface is user-friendly ? just log on and you can quickly scroll through photos
of potential partners and see how many feet away they are. It lets you star those
Do I need to pay for some of the features?
also has a subscription service, Grindr Xtra, which lets you view the site
without adverts.
Anything you should watch out for?
Grindr's often used for casual hook-ups, it's worth chatting first to
ensure you both want the same thing before revealing your identity. Only share your location once you feel comfortable.
an option to connect the app to your Facebook account, so be careful if you'd
rather keep your profile photo private.
The pick of the paid sites
With so many free dating sites, you might well ask why anyone pays. Yet paid dating websites may attract fewer time-wasters,
fewer ads and better safety features, or
have a more tailored approach to matching specific types.
Don't assume that paid dating sites are always best though.
All the below offer basic free trials, so it's
worth trying these
to see if it's for you before you shell out.
Remember to haggle! We've listed their prices below, but it's well worth calling
up to see if it's possible to haggle it down. We tried phoning five big dating websites and managed to knock the list price down on two of them, so it's well worth a try.
Best for folks seeking long-term relationships
One of the biggest names in online dating,
is a heavyweight that caters for all age groups looking for both long- and short-term relationships.
Here are a few success stories from the forum:
I met my other half . I paid for one month, only one profile attracted me and it was his. We started chatting over the phone, met up within a
week and are getting married next year.
I know I am one of the few lucky ones but if it can
happen to us, it can happen to others- BettyDebt
Met my other half .
We've been together for a year now,
he reckons it was the best money
he has ever spent, as it was an investment in the rest of our lives.
He signed up for a month and met me face-to-face within 2 weeks after
many emails and calls, so jokes about trying to get a partial
refund. Very MSE. - snugglepuss
Who for? All sorts of folks seeking long-term love.
Cost: ?29.99/mth (less if you sign up for longer).
Allows same sex searches? Yes.
Website or app?
How big is it? 700,000 UK members.
Online Dating Association member?
Safety tips: It has a safety advice section and lets you report concerns to moderators.
Quick questions
How long does it take to set up a profile?
Setting up an account should take about 15 minutes. There are fewer
questions than some other sites, though you can also add a Facebook-style list
of favourite books, music, films, etc, which would take an extra 15
What makes this site so special?
One of its quirkier touches is if you'd rather leave things to fate, it even lets you search
by 'born on the same day as me' and 'it's their birthday'.
It also has a
for iPhone, Android and via Amazon.
What are the exact costs?
One month's basic membership is ?29.99, three months is ?59.97, and 6 months is ?77.94. It also has add-ons with extra features, such as the ability to go online in 'unavailable' mode and request read receipts, though these add to the cost.
Does it auto-renew your subscription?
Watch out,
auto-renews your subscription unless you cancel it at least 48 hours before the date of your next renewal - some forumites report problems with this in the past.
Can you get anything for free?
Its basic free version lets you set up a profile, search its members, send 'winks' and see photo albums, though you'll need a paid subscription to send and receive emails and instant messages.
Best for those who want a friend to do their PR
If the thought of writing your own online dating profile makes you cringe,
lets you get a friend to do it for you. Founded by TV presenter Sarah Beeny,
all its profiles are written by friends.
Its unusual approach to online dating makes it handy if you'd rather not jump into the online dating scene on your own. One forumite reports:
I have to vouch
- every person on there has had their profile and picture chosen
by a good friend, meaning that you often learn a lot more about a person
than they would've chosen to write about themselves!
girlfriends had a lot of fun on it last year when we were all single,
and met some genuinely nice, funny, gorgeous, intelligent people - and
we knew they weren't nutters! It's a well-designed and simple to use
site - highly recommended.
- chezabelle
Who for? Those who want to involve pals
Allows same-sex searches? Yes.
Website or app? Both.
How big is it? 200,000 members.
Cost: ?28/mth (less if you sign up for longer).
Safety tips: You can block users & report them to customer services.
Online Dating Association member?
Quick questions
How long does it take to set up a profile?
It will take more time for the pal you've enlisted to brag about what a
fabulous, kind, fun person you are. You can then add your own comments to the
profile before it goes live ? "Gee, my legs aren't that long, but
What's so special about this site?
It's easy to view others' profiles on the site before you even sign up. Your
pal can search the site and suggest possible Ms or Mr Rights. There's also an
app available.
The site is also
a member of the Online Dating Association.
Does it auto-renew your subscription?
Watch out - its memberships auto-renew, unless they're bought by a friend as a gift subscription. If you want to cancel, it's told us you need to do this through your online account, giving 24 hours' notice before the next payment's due.
What are the costs?
One month's membership is ?28, or it's ?55 for three months and ?79 for six months. Your first payment's taken in a single instalment (rather than monthly).
Can you get anything for free?
You can sign up for a limited free profile, and there's no time limit on this. It lets you search its members,
get recommendations from friends, and see who's sent you messages - though you need a paid membership to read and reply to 'em.
Best for daters seeking intellectual & artsy types
Launched in 2004, online dating site
is a popular site for those looking for long-term relationships.
After years of internet
dating, dating through friends and trying to meet people wherever I could, I
eventually met my boyfriend. The thing that worked for me was Guardian
Soulmates, as people seemed fairly well-educated. However snobby it
sounds, it was important for me. If you like geeky boys, it's a good start
point.- Travelqueen
Who for? Urban intellectual types.
Allows same-sex searches? Yes.
How big is it? 230,000 members (mainly in the UK).
Safety tips: You can block users and report them to customer services.
Online Dating Association member?
Website or app?
Cost: ?32/mth (less if you sign up for longer).
Quick questions
How long does it take to set up a profile?
Signing up for a basic profile takes about 10 minutes, though you may feel pressure to take
longer penning a super-witty strapline and profile. You can then add more details and a picture later.
What's so special about this site?
If you prefer to pick people based on what they've written, rather than a
scientific equation, this is the site to use. One tip is if you keep updating
your profile, it will rise to the top of search results.
It's a member of
the Online Dating Assocation.
What are the costs?
?32 for one month, ?64 for three months, or ?96 for six months.
Does it auto-renew your membership?
Watch out as its subscriptions auto-renew as standard, though its told us you can cancel at any time via a button on its 'your account' page.
Can you get anything for free?
Free membership lets you add a profile, search its members, receive some messages and reply with a one-line standard response, and there's no time limit to this. Yet paid membership's needed to send and receive all messages, do advanced searches, and see other users' gallery pictures.
Best for detailed personality matching
trademarked Compatability Matching System uses a scientifically-adapted
questionnaire to try to find a unique match for your personality.
Thanks to eHarmony I met my other half and we're getting married in March. I was a little doubtful of the whole concept but I'm guessing that I'm one of the luckier ones ? it worked for me.- Mitchell
Who for? Those serious about finding The One.
Cost: Prices vary. ?50/mth on average (less if you sign up for longer).
Allows same sex searches? Yes, but on a separate site, .
Website or app?
available for iPhone, Android and Windows phones.
How big is it? 4 million UK users.
Online Dating Association member?
Safety tips: A dedicated customer safety team.
Quick questions
How long does it take to set up a profile?
Be prepared to answer a lot of questions for this, as there are over 150 in its questionnaire. Hopefully it'll be time well invested if you find a match.
What's so special about this site?
The site is good if you're nervous about setting up a
profile, as it offers gentle guidance while you write your spiel.
Once you find someone you like the look of, you can choose from a selection of
pre-set 'icebreaker' questions and comments ? handy if you're daunted by making
that first approach.
What are the costs?
It's at the pricier end of dating sites. The site offers different prices to different members. But it says on average, it's ?50 for one month, ?72 for three months or ?120 for six months.
Does it auto-renew your subscription?
Yes - you need to
auto-renewal in your account settings.
Can you get anything for free?
It lets you sign up, look at profiles and send 'icebreakers' for nowt, but you need a paid membership to send and receive messages.
Best for keen social networkers
is particularly popular with those wanting to date online via their smartphone or Facebook profile, though you can also access it via the web. Who for? Social media fans under 45.
Allows same-sex searches? Yes.
Cost: ?22.74/mth
(less if you sign up for longer).
How big is it? 33m members in 80 countries.
Online Dating Association member?
Website or app?
Safety tips: A customer service team to help with issues.
Quick questions
How long does it take to set up a profile?
This is a quick one. It takes about
10 minutes to register and answer a
few questions. You can also sign up via Facebook, which is even quicker.
What's so special about this site?
Zoosk attracts social networking fans, as it encourages members to link
profiles to Facebook and Twitter. This - along with its photo verification tool, which it claims helps eliminate catfishing - can help you give confidence in
potential dates, though make sure you're happy about sharing your profile information first.
What are the costs?
?22.74 for one month, ?15.98/mth for three months,
?11.99/mth for six months.
Does it auto-renew your membership?
Watch out as memberships auto-renew, though you can opt for them just to expire. To cancel, visit the subscription hub under the settings tab. It also has free apps for both
and , and via Amazon.
Can you get anything for free?
A trial membership is free and last indefinitely. It lets you create a profile, search other profiles, initiate a conversation and even receive responses for nowt. But if you want to respond to an email, see who's looked at your profile, and get full access to chat with others, you'll need a paid membership.
Top specialist online dating sites
If you want to look for love in a more specific way, the following sites are targeted at particular audiences.
Best for city slickers
Founded in 2006,
is targeted at time-strapped urban folk, catering for some
of the UK's biggest cities, including London, Birmingham, Dublin, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Leeds, Liverpool and Manchester.
Who for? Urban office workers.
Allows same-sex searches? Yes
Cost: ?39/mth
(less if you sign up for longer).
How big is it? 500,000 UK members.
Website or app?
Online Dating Association member? Yes
Safety tips: You can block members or report them to its help team.
Quick questions
How long does it take to set up a profile?
Lovestruck requires you to answer a few questions,
then write at least 50
words about yourself. If you fully complete every question, for example,
on your favourite books and films, you'll be there for about an hour.
What's so special about this site?
It also has
free dating apps for both
and . Membership also gets you discounted entry to its events, such as bowling, comedy and quiz nights.
It's a member of the Online Dating Association.
What are the costs?
One month's paid membership is ?39, three months is ?65, six months is ?99, or ?139 for a year, taken as one-off payments. If you buy a package,
eg, three or six months, you can't get a refund if you meet someone special
before the period's up.
Does it auto-renew your subscription?
Beware - Lovestruck auto-renews your membership for as long as your initial subscription term. You'll need to contact it separately to cancel at least two working days before it's due to renew, .
Can you get anything for free?
Non-members can add a profile and browse others' profiles indefinitely, as well as send 'winks', but you'll need to pay to send and receive messages. Plus, it's free to download the app. Also, there are a number of free singles events you can attend, more info on the.
Best for Jewish singles
brings together thousands of single
men and women from across the Jewish community. As well as letting you add your religious background (eg, Hassidic, Modern Orthodox, Traditional),
it also allows non-Jewish daters, who can specify
whether or not they're willing
to convert.
One forumite reports:
I met my girlfriend 18 months ago on JDate
and we're very
happy, bought a house together... so I see the six months or so I was paying fees as a sound investment.- ringo_24601
Who for? Jewish singletons.
Allows same sex searches? Yes.
Cost: ?19.99/mth
(less if you sign up for longer).
How big is it? Over 500,000 members.
Website or app?
Online Dating Association member?
Safety tips: Telephone support number if you have an issue.
Quick questions
How long does it take to set up a profile?
It takes just 20 minutes to
complete a basic profile. You just need to answer some generic questions such
as "how often do you visit a synagogue?" and "are you willing to convert?".
What so special about this site?
It has a free
for iPhone, and Android, so you can check your membership on the go.
What are the costs?
A one-month standard membership's ?19.99, three months is ?16.66/mth (paid upfront as ?49.99, renewing at ?16.75/mth after this), and six months is ?12.50/mth (paid upfront at ?74.99, renewing at ?14.99/mth after this). "Premium" plans with extra features are also available, for a little more.
Does it auto-renew your subscription?
Watch out as its memberships auto-renew, though you can turn this off via your account online, or by calling its customer services team.
Can you get anything for free?
You can join for free to create a profile and search matches, though you'll need a membership to send, read and reply to emails and instant messages. There's no time limit to how long you can access this for free.
Best for Christian singles
is owned and run by Christians, and caters for those looking for both friendships and relationships. It lets you specify your faith further if you wish (eg, Anglican, Baptist, Catholic, Quaker etc).
Who for? Christian daters.
Website or app?
Safety tips: You can block users & contact its customer support team with issues.
Cost: ?24/mth
(less if you sign up for longer).
How big is it? 40,000 UK members.
Online Dating Association member?
Allows same sex searches? Yes, but it
has only a small number of same-sex daters.
Quick questions
How long does it take to set up a profile?
Creating your profile takes
about 40 minutes, and uploading a photo is compulsory.
What's so special about this site?
It also has a space for its users to say more about their spiritual journeys and inspirations on their profile.
can organise their own group meetups and attend events run by Christian
Connection.
What are the costs?
Paid membership's ?24 for one month or ?48 for three months, or ?64 for 6 months. For this, you can start up to 30 conversations a day, make unlimited board posts, get live chat and priority support. See
Does it auto-renew your subscription?
If you sign up for a one-month or three-month membership, watch out as these auto-renew. Its year-long membership is taken as a one-off payment, and doesn't auto-renew. Christian Connection says you can cancel an auto-renewal via its 'subscription' tab, or email its support team to do this.
Can you get anything for free?
Its three-day free trial lets you send five messages a day and search its members. After, it converts to a
version that doesn't let you send messages, though you can respond with some preset messages. See .
Best for outdoor types
describes itself as an online community for 'anyone who leads a muddy-boots lifestyle wanting to meet like-minded, country people'.
Who for? Countryphiles.
Allows same sex searches? Yes.
Safety tips: You can block users and contact its help number.
Cost: ?24/mth
(less if you sign up for longer).
How big is it? 90,000 members.
Online Dating Association member?
Website or app?
Quick questions
How long does it take to set up a profile?
Creating a basic profile should
take about 10 minutes but there are also a host of outdoorsy-themed questions
about your likes, dislikes and interests. Anyone for polo or clay pigeon
What's so special about this site?
Interestingly, users
give their 'muddy-townie ratio', so you can rate yourself as 70% countryphile, 30% urban fox. Helpfully, Muddy Matches has confirmed memberships don't auto-renew - when your subscription ends you simply revert back to being a free member.
There's also a free
for both iPhone and Android mobiles. This site's
a member of
industry trade body, the Online Dating Association.
What are the costs?
Paid membership's ?24 for one month, ?45 for three months, ?69 for six months and ?90 for a year.
Does it auto-renew your subscription?
Yes. If you paid for your subscription by card, it will automatically be renewed before it expires. To make sure this doesn't happen, cancel automatic renewal at least 48 hours before your current subscription ends. If you do this, you'll simply revert back to
membership.
Can you get anything for free?
Yes. It's free to register - as a free member you can add a profile, search for other members, and see who's visited your profile, and there's no time limit on this. But to access or send messages, you'll need a paid membership.
Best for single mums and dads looking for love
you're a mum or dad,
is a good way to meet other singles with
children. There's no stress
over how to broach the subject of little'uns, as you're both in the same
situation.Who for?
Single parents.
Allows same sex searches? Yes.
How big is it? It's a smaller site.
Website or app? Site.
Safety tips: You can block members or report them to its help team
Cost: ?25/mth
(less if you sign up for longer).
Online Dating Association member?
Quick questions
How long does it take to set up a profile?
The profile is just a few paragraphs long, so should only take 10 minutes. You then fill out a multiple choice form on your personality, hobbies and
interests.
You can upload up to 12 pictures and if you're feeling confident,
record a video message. It usually
takes 20 minutes for your photo to be approved.
What's so special about this site?
can send potential dates emails, quick instant messages or just 'wink' at them. If
you're not feeling creative, it lets you pick an icebreaker greeting from a
selection (eg, "Howdy, catchy profile!").
What are the costs?
It costs ?2.97 for three days, ?24.99/mth for one month,
?14.99/mth for three months (?44.97 total) or ?9.99/mth for six months (?59.94 total).
Does it auto-renew your subscription?
Can you get anything for free?
a basic member, you can browse profiles but if you want to contact other
members, you need to pay.
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